walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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