why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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