Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
