Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
