Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's shark week go big or go home
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
