just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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