I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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