we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
