how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
