meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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