jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
