Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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