I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
