I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i dont even know how to be here
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
