Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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