Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
