You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
