Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
