She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
