Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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