My sheets look like a crime scene.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
