with your own penis?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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