he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
