i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize