Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
