I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
