awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize