Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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