When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
