Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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