So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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