Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Welp...herpes.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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