11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
