i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
