I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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