i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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