69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
