Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I want to walk on stilts...naked
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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