Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
