38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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