Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize