i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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