I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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