Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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