Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
