Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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