Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize