Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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