Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
