i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
