So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
