don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
