She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
