Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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