Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
