I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Randomize
