Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
