I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize