this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
