I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize