i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
