The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
